Characters' Monologues
by PowerOfWords
Summary: Jerome mulls over his relationship with Mara, Joy and Sibuna. Patricia can't help missing Nina and Amber, especially when her relationship with Eddie is falling apart. Amber's thoughts that very few people wonder about. Is Alfie really all about pranks and pretty girls?
1. Jerome

Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis or its characters.

I've waited for her to feel bad. She always does. Mara is one of the kindest people I've ever met, but when you get her mad, expect the worst kind of revenge - but know that she'll feel bad upon executing it.

This time, however, the time I've been hurt deeper by her punishment than any other time (although it has unarguably been a well-deserved punishment)... This time, she still doesn't regret talking Joy into breaking my heart.

I regret cheating on her daily - especially when my father calls and asks how Mara is. But what she's done... I don't think she is the person I've been in love with. Even when angry, Mara has always known the boundaries, which do not seem to exist for her anymore. She knows where it hurts the most; she knows that trusting people is hard for me. Yet she still has asked Joy to lie her way into my heart and break it.

Actually, Mara's two sides have always attracted me. I've been amazed at how compassionate and caring she could be at times; I've been equally amazed by the times when she was able to make a person feel so small they wanted to disappear. Honestly, I can't accuse her of being this way. I'm quite complicated in that sense too. Never quite nice, never quite mean - I have always been astonished by Mara's ability to go to extremes. This time... I wish she hadn't.

So now, I wait for her to say something. To apologise, to give me a reassuring smile, some kind of hope that our relationship is not wrecked to the point of no return. I never get any of that.

To be honest, I'm quite confused. I feel like I might love Joy, I know I'm in love with Mara; I know that both have willingly hurt me; I know that I've unwillingly hurt both. Maybe that's just what I do. Destroy my relationships with the people most dear to me and then suffer. Even now, when I've lost both of them - when I should know for sure whom I value the most - I don't know who I would choose if I ever get a chance. Which I won't.

I might apologise, promise that I'll change. After some time they might believe me. But is that going to change anything? I'll end up doing the same thing all over again. The thing with Joy though, is that she accepts me like that. She accepts my tendency to ruin things. But how am I supposed to stop ruining them if she doesn't do anything about it? With Mara, it's a whole different story. She seems to see a version of me that doesn't exist - the misunderstood angel that can do no wrong or the rotten jerk that is up to no good, whichever suits me better at the time - and she is constantly trying to change what does exist. But maybe that's the only way for me to stop screwing things up for myself?...

I need to clear my head. To start fresh. What have I been doing before this started? Pulling pranks with or on Alfie, hating my parents. Oh, how dandy. Another thing on my long list of things I owe to Mara - restoring my relationship with Dad! And Alfie is now so busy with Sibuna... Hopelessly trying to make it seem like they don't all feel empty and incomplete without Nina. To be honest, even I feel like that. I even miss my daily banter with Mick. If I could only turn back time... Maybe then, after they had saved me from Rufus, I could have established more bonds. Have real friends, more things to be tied to - things I wouldn't ruin.

One thing is for sure - dwelling on "should have" and "would have's" is not a nice way to spend your day out in the park. I stand up and look for Alfie - maybe he is still up for a prank... After all, I've got my father, my sister and my friend. My housemates will stand by me no matter what, my friendship with Joy and Mara can still be saved. I might have a knack for ruining relationships, but no one can rekindle them like I do.


	2. Patricia

Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis or its characters

Tears roll down her cheeks as she shuts Eddie's laptop close. How could he do that? Eddie is lot of things - slightly conceited, sometimes rude and not serious enough - but Patricia has never thought he was capable of cheating on her.

Patricia has never been an easy cryer. No; she is always the person who comforts others and does not seek anyone out for her own comfort. But right now... She really does wish Amber would burst in and say something incredibly funny, while Nina might tell her something way too wise for their age. Except for... Nina and Amber are both too far away.

The times she could go to Joy for anything have long passed. She has shared something very intense with the original Sibuna - something Joy will never be part of, no matter how much Patricia loves her. She hasn't let herself admit it lately, but she is falling to pieces without Amber's lightheartedness and Nina's ability to make her feel cared for. Alfie hasn't been himself and seems very worried about Jerome recently. Fabian is a mess without Nina. And now she's losing Eddie.

She looks at the toilet door, half hoping that Amber might start banging on it and demanding that Patricia come out and stop sulking. Sighing, she opens the door and fixes her make up, looking in the mirror. Whoever the person she sees in there is, Patricia knows it's not her. The Patricia she has always been proud to think she is doesn't cry over boys and doesn't get pointless soppy thoughts about her friends. The Patricia she wants to be is strong and independent. But, she guesses, everyone needs to let themselves be weak for a few moments. She's been trying to stay too strong for way too long now.

Author's Note: I would like to thank LuvFiction Xxxx, HoAMR and Nerding Out at the Atheneaum for their reviews and HoAMR for encouraging me to turn this into a series.


	3. Amber

Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis or its characters.

A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers, your feedback is greatly appreciated! I'm sorry this chapter is a bit late, I've been away for this whole week. After this one, I'm doing Alfie - probably the last one. Thank you again for all the support.

Watching the place she's called home since she was eleven disappear in the rear view mirror, Amber sighs heavily, refusing to cry. A career in fashion is something she's been dreaming about for several years - she wants to feel happy. But why does she feel like it has cost too much?

A loving boyfriend, whose pranks and childish jokes have ceased to annoy her lately, instead sending her into fits of hysterical laughter. She really does love Alfie, after all. Patricia, who might seem cold at first, but Amber knew right away that she was soft under the surface. And Fabian - oh, the clueless Fabian - he really is adorable, especially when he messes his relationship with Nina up without even knowing and then tries to make it better. Nina... The first person who hasn't treated her like a brainless barbie when they first met. Maybe that's why she was so eager to become her first friend at Anubis. Or maybe it's just the fact that Nina really is worth knowing. Whatever her reasoning was, Amber is glad that she's become friends with Nina.

Her few months in Sibuna have been more significant to Amber than years spent at school before Nina came. She has finally been able to be part of something important and be treated as an equal - not just a good-for-nothing pretty face. Although Amber is far from insecure, solving mysteries has given her a confidence boost, proving that she does have a brain and can definitely put it to a good use.

Apart from the original Sibuna, Amber has grown fond of her other housemates. Mara - she's been her best friend at a point in time, before the whole Mick fiasco. Amber is also grateful that she has had the opportunity to know Mick, who could understand her better than anyone else; he has suffered quite a lot from the "jock" stereotype that everyone seems to still apply to him. Jerome - still a mystery, but Amber knows that he's got a good heart. She's happy Mara has these two in her life. Joy has made mistakes, but she really is one of the nicest people Amber's ever met. Eddie - he's new, but her time in Sibuna with him has convinced her that Patricia couldn't have found anyone better to get her to loosen up sometimes.

She would even miss Victor, as messed up as that sounds. He really has become a father-like figure for her. No matter how evil he seems: he did save Joy that one time. Amber knows that he does love all of them.

Smiling softly, Amber feels content that she's been able to have these people in her life. But now, it's time to move on.


	4. Alfie

Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis or any of its characters.

Alfie shuts the door and waits for the tightening in his throat to disappear. When it doesn't, he just sighs, sliding down the door onto the floor of his and Jerome's (but he's barely around now) room.

He knew, he knew that Nina's absence was a bad sign. Everything went downhill from there - Jerome has cheated on Mara, whom he literally obsessed over last year, Fabian is just not the same, Patricia's being snappy, and now Amber has left. Brilliant. Not.

Ever since joining Sibuna, Alfie has marvelled at how he doesn't have to constantly joke around to have fun and be accepted. Nina's been the open-minded leader, Fabian is still the voice of reason, Patricia's the daring and brave one, Amber's epiphanies have saved the day several times. Alfie's natural curiosity has served them a great deal. Jerome would occasionally help them (though unwillingly). But it's all falling apart now...

Jerome's a mess over Mara and Joy, Fabian's a mess over Nina, Patricia's a mess over Eddie - everyone's a mess, actually. It's all very messy... To add to that, Amber's now gone and his parents are not happy with his most recent school report (which has made them remember how unhappy they are with all the other ones). Alfie's not too happy about anything, too.

What he has valued most - his best friend, his Sibuna pals, his girlfriend - is all coming down to nothing. Alfie is frustrated at how easily Fabian and Patricia have given up on staying happy - frustrated at everything, really.

He just doesn't get it - he can stay cheerful even with his overbearing parents, depressive and cynical best friend that refuses help, a girlfriend that never seems serious about their relationship - while the rest of Sibuna just let themselves be knocked down by a few romantic problems. But Alfie can't make himself get angry at them - another frustrating thing.

Alfie laughs - when has he begun to have pessimistic thoughts worthy of Jerome? He gets up, winks at himself in the mirror and goes out of the room to search for Jerome - it's prank time! They both could use some cheering up, after all.

A/N: Well, this is it, I guess. I might add more chapters in the future, but for now, I think it's enough. I'd like to thank my reviewers and apologise if this chapter is not as good as the others; there's been a lot on my hands lately. Sibuna!


	5. A Small Surprise

Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis or any of its characters.

A/N: This chapter is unplanned (just like all the chapters after Jerome), it's a little - and I mean little - treat for my reviewers, who have been sensational. This chapter is going to be about Nina, because just like Season Three, this wouldn't be right without her.

Nina sighs as she looks in the mirror, finished with styling her hair. Nothing would sound better right now than to hear Amber complaining about how Mr Sweet has got a scheme to slowly drain beauty out of her by depriving her of sleep. Nothing would seem more beautiful than walking into the common room to see Jerome and Alfie yelling at each other and pulling pranks at Joy and Mara, who would only laugh and shake their heads, while Patricia would scowl at them and then glare at Eddie for laughing along. Nina can almost hear their voices, can almost smell Trudy's cooking, can literally see Fabian's smile. It can't leave her alone.

"Nina, are you coming down?" her grandmother calls her from the kitchen, "You've got school today. It's not a boarding school, you know, you actually have to go out early," she laughs.

"Coming, Gran," Nina mentally scolds herself for letting the memories take over her. It's the past. It's for the best. After all, there still is no way she could come back without encountering the Osirion. But it still hurts so much.

She misses Fabian's caring attitude, Amber's lightheartedness, Patricia's sarcasm, Alfie's humour, Jerome's biting but funny remarks, Eddie's easygoing nature, Joy's niceness (however often she might have treated Nina in ways that have been nowhere near nice). It's just all so overwhelming. losing it all at once.

It was a snap decision, really. She thought it would hurt less, but it's harder to accept now. But Victor's got his tear, the mystery is solved, everyone is relatively happy. So Nina should be too. But for some reason, there is a strange tugging at the back of her mind, as if there's something she's missing, as if there's something going on.

She dismisses it and, with a determined sigh, steps out of her room and into her new life.


End file.
